GRAPH

  I got another 3 more days left before my 1st paper.. and yet im just start studying the subject NOW .. HAhaha .. take a few minutes break and and just wanna write something in this entry . This is my 2nd last semester and I hope everything will end soon .. of course then I will miss my colleague and dudas behind but every beginning do have an end right !! And here I can conclude that.. my period of time as a student almost done ..Well I might further my study later in the future might be if I have the guts to do so .. Studying is quite hard sometimes .. It is not that i hate to study .. If the subject quite interesting to me , of course then I do love it .. But mostly I have to learn all of that stuff because I have to pass the exam .. Nothing more and nothing less .. So .. the benefit that I gain from it is lesser or non I guess  compare to the DEAN star award .. who do treasure the study a hell lot .. 

   But for me .. every people in this world .. no matter you are the DEANy or you just a PASSER by .. it doesnt mean that dude with perfect 3.5 point n above can get a better job then you .. It is just a matter of luck and you exactly use every opportunity which come to you wisely .. WEll some people do good in study but when comes to work place .. it is totally different .. It is more life it a new lesson in life that we have to study ..another chapter so caller LIFE 101.. HMMM .. we just have to wait and see then .. 

   I am 23 years old rite now buddy and if I hope i can maintain writing for this entry .. though there were stops and nothing to write well may be I so damn busy doing other things .. I try to keep this blog till i can keep it ..

 

 

I am not a good lover

   2 days left and I will be 24 years .. and yet I am still proudly holding the title bachelor for life . Its not that I am not trying to find someone but I always wanna wait till the right time. I am not a sweet talker like other girls and for sure I am not that cute to grab any guys attention at the very first place .. Dun worry, whether I am on or off my specs ... there will be no fairy angels coming or any sparkles appear .. HAHHA .. I am not that obvious and for sure  I try to live in this world safely ... thank god my mama and dad  told me well .. Never go to club or flirting with any randoms guy .. Im totally not good at that .. and I am totally a self independent gurl and about to be a woman .. HAhAH ..I am different for other species i guesss. Well thats why we are born to this world right .. to be different from others .. Hmmmm..
   I always love my life .. and I dont wand any difficulty that I hold in my back become a shadow that people would notice . Well people do have secret right .. Some of them we can share with our close friend and some of them we must keep it to our grave.. Hmmm ok back to the topic
   NOT A GOOD LOVER ?  Y did I say so ..I love to watch romance film .. who dont .. I am a girl for God sake .. Romance Novel .. i dying for it .. everything ... But when it back to reality ...and looking at other couple act romancessly in front of me .. It is quite an awkward for me seriously .. and it  almost make me wanna vomit ... For me romance is something that you should keep it to yourself without telling anybody of show it off to everybody ... post it in the facebook or twitter for example .. gosh i really hate to read those junk .. 'I miss my handsome boy . Every second ticking make me think of you ' and below it at the comment ... whether the girl of boy itself will like the comment .. If you desperately love each over , y dont you 2 lovey dovey doves .. just texting via inbox .. dont you know that by putting that stuff in your own wall actually make people feelll ewww .. if you get what am i saying . Well thats me .. I am not good in expressing my feeling to someone .. Hmmmm so conservative lil fell...

Addiction

   There was a quote that I really love by George R.R. Martin, (A Dance With Dragons) which was
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.” In a simple word .. I mean in my own word i can describe that, once you read new book .. its mean that you are reincarnate back to the world . Do you wanna know Y ?  Well in my thought, you can experience a whole lot new thing even though  it from other people perspective .. At least then, you can be the new hotshot chick on the town, or miraculously a  great mom to a decent husband and lots of lots of that . Recently, I just read a few books .. 4 exactly .. though it quite not that so called awesome or decent book as well, I do agree what Sir George R.R Martin did say .. When I read those book .. I completely lives in some other kind of dimension and the good  thing about that stuff actually I could feel the scenario itself .. well i dun wanna call myself as a nerd ..but thats the way i could describe myself .. 

   And besides, there another good thing about this reading hobby too .. you get to improve you language and broaden you thought about something  . By what Im saying ... I actually learn a few new words which I never heard before .. or may be I do heard it and dont understand it at all .. but when the word keep cliche' in your mind .. finally you will catch the meaning ..HMMM ...

 Well then ..in the future I should try to read John Grisham book since that Im not quite good in Law .. There were some kind of thing that I dont understand people do or those people who are creating the law for example the Constitution or anything related to Law .. why those people dont try to use the word that people could understand .. and  why are those people are exactly try to messing out the meaning of the clause try to address . ..and it is do hard  to understand sometime ..

  

Killing me softly !!

I am not a perfect person . Well all people do .. Don't we? . There is a time I have to force myself on doing something since I want everything to look perfect for the sake of my eye.  People secretly says that I am to hard to resist. Then, I try to loose the 'strict line' in the works that I do especially when it involves group work. Well then, they quite OK with it .There's a new lesson that I learn from that, I have to believe that others can do their job well too. Indeed, it is lot easier now and I don't have to bother myself all the time to check and auditing for them. Grade never be the focus point of everything in our life.. it is the way we communicate with people.. day by day since you have to live with this people. The best thing in life is that you know more people and get to know whats within their heart . I  do regret sometimes.. in the way Im treating people before. I can be quite as asshole sometimes especially when dealing with assignment and laboratory work or anything .. It is time for me to change ... I have to criticize less since people hate to hear other talk bad about what they do  .. 

    And till this day come by .. as usual when it comes to lab job .. we have to do the job as it was assigned .. As usually, I am the one who assigned for it  ( minus 1, again the Queen B). Well dont misunderstood bout that... Usually I will assigned the job fairly .. all of us must do the job from scale 1- 10 .. so nobody will get the easiest task every week . Sometimes, they will send their job back to me after have completed it so  that I could check ( minus 1, again the Queen B + autocracy). I do check and sometimes have to demolish their job so that it would be perfect according to my standard . (minus 1, again the Queen B).. there is a time back then .. I have to change all their word almost like 80%... (pheeewww.... -1). 

    Till one day someone that I know spoke out, and said .. ' i give a lot if burden to Him/Her ' . I never got that electric shock statement before.. The BADASS me will say , 'Hello.. I am  the one who helping you to do with that stuff, and how on earth could you say that to me .. Just because I ask you to correct a few term'  . But then .. thanx God at least I can control it this time .. and said... ' Then next time dont send it  to me  .. just do it by your own ..' But since he kept saying that I did give a lot of burden to him.. I try to play it cool here .. then I check it again .. well the fault is mine .. actually he/she  did copy the previous job that I corrected .. yeah .. it is my fault then for not checking it earlier ... It is a normal thing that  you do forget about something  but when it in my case ... it can never be forgiven .. May be I was to harsh sometimes .. and do hurt people most of the time , so when they cant take it ,finally it is speak out in a indirect way .. Like Today !!!

   So.. for my groupmate .. sometimes I never realize how bad I am treating you .. I am sorry then .. I hope it will never be happen again in the future time. The clock is keep ticking and we never knew when we are going to meet again after graduation. 

  

'SPARK'

Since 8 pm till this hour 10 pm .. i watching some video clip bout our former prime minister, Mahathir. Selama ni I did knew that , that guy got sumthing in him.. cuma bila dah tonton balik that clip of him, finally i realize there is a bit short of my thought bout him .. he is not the guy whose got something but he really the awesome leader who think beyond our expectation . there's a quote that he says in the clip which actually got my attention . 'you must be perfect in the things you do if you want to do something good in your life' , though it actually not sound the same as it was in the video clip but actually its quite mean the same . Sekarang ni, actually im quite regretting my life. Yalah.. kita tak mampu menggunakan apa yang ada di depan mata dengan sebaik-baiknya. Segala keluh kesah dan kesusahan dalam kehidupan menjadi satu barrier dalam kehidupan masing-masing to strive for the better result in our life. 

   Atau hanya mungkin because since we are the Y or Z generation , we never think equally as the X does. May be because of what that we have right now, the life that we feel so comfortably live in .. in such a peaceful country as Malaysia, all we think is only bout fun and how to spending money . Kadangkala , terfikir juga saya kenapa tak pernah pun terlintas di dalam pemikiran saya apa akan terjadi sekiranya negara kita kini dilanggar musibah seperti negara-negara lain serantau . Kehidupan mereka hanya mampu mengharapkan sesuatu yang tidak pasti .. Hidup atau mati hanyalah esok atau lusa yang menentukan. We never care bout that.

  So now, I think that it is never be wrong for us to be the perfectionist in what we are trying to do .. Since make things perfect will lead us to be good in our job . And for my dear team mate for those whose actually use to work with me.. sorry then for the standard that im giving to you , for me trying to push all of you . I might sometime be a lil bossy but it is the only way for me to challenge me and you guys to do something good . I hate the way people act in doing their job so 'sambil lewa' . I hate that behaviour, I dun care if you do the job at the last minute' but as long as the job done or the result that you get are great !! therefore, it is actually the starter for us to learn and step up to become a good leader to our life .. may be not to the nation or the group of people but maybe for the better future of our own . Sometimes I really hate to say that this is our time to get matured and start work out in our life since this is the point of our age to start create the new invention of our life .

 

'RUN'

Tak sabar gik rasanya mok grad and dapat kerja .. so that i seriously can run away from this place, this situation and so lots of thing .. so what call me a runner. Sorry for doing that .. right now.. benda paling penting that i should do is ... my freedom .. hate of being someone who have to sacrifice the thing that i love.

Intern

A month almost have been passed .. there's so much fun thing happened during this period .. my internship .. at first i never tot that it will be this great .. meet new people and learn lots of lots new thing ... hahahaha .... kind of fun you know ... thanx god at least tak la jumpa colleague yang suka buli2 orang .. ok la .. its so much fun here . and everyday .. cant wait to be here .. i mean do some work of course la ..
   The first day of my internship.. not so great la .. well since i am so new wif the place and beside i am not  originality from kch .. so at first all of the things were so damn hard ... never tot that i will go to my work place wif the 'mat rempit' style .. hahahaha ...habis la my hair .. forget bout that la ..a few weeks then .. there is actually bad incident happened at the area nearby my office ... which specifically mean .. next to my office , this dude get shot using a shot gun .. so great exposure for me at this fragile age ..at first of coz la .. traumadized .. hahaha ... then well i able to overcome that feeling ..

Its not that i Hate u so

People.. do you ever have a feeling whereby you actually not hate the people but you r not comfortable when they around ... well that dilemma actually happen to me for this whole semester.. nothing problem happening exactly... cuma feel awkward with each other.. kadangkala.. rasa macam i dunno, feel that that person dont like me .. well maybe im not the perfect person and sometimes or may b all the time i always hurt people around me .. tp selalunya memang kita akan tahu kan kalau kita ada buat salah dengan that person .. but with this person.. im totally blackout.. i dunno what to say.. so damn hard to deal ... dari pada tak ada rasa apa2 ..bley pulak rasa menyampah ..hmhmmh

ENVY

There is still another year left for me in pursuing my study .. tak sabarnya nak habis, its not that i dun want to further my study anymore.. but you know.. lots of problem appear recently, and ekonomi family juga tak menyokong untuk diriku sekarang.. penatla kadang kala bila kita seringkali melihat mengapa hanya kita yang terakna melalui semua ini   .. mengapa harus aku yang dipilih .. adakah aku merasakan bahawa semua ii tidak adil .. mungkin kadang kala terdetik juga dalam fikiran ini membicarakan sesuatu yang tidak sepatutnya . hmmm .. bukan aku tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada .. tapi rasanya kenikmatan bersama keluarga itu belum aku rasa sepenuhnya .. asal balik saja cuti terpaksa pula buat part time ... kalau tak buat, mana la cukup duit nak support belanja sendiri di kampus nanti .. Penat sangat memang aku akui .. di tambah pula dengan praktikal semester ni.. lagila lama aku tak jumpa dengan family ... nak blk masa cuti mid sem and recently dorang baik hati nak bagi cuti time gawai ...pun tak dapat aku balik rasanya .. dengan tiket flight yang almost rm 400 .. mana la aku ada duit nak cover semua .. mmg la my dear father kata nak share sebahagian duit tambang kalau aku nak balik .. tak da beza nya pun .. aku jugak nak kena keluarkan duit yang sebahagian ... kesian pulak dengan orang tua aku tu .. terpaksa jg la tahankan hati tak balik ... envy nya tengok kawan2 yang lain dapat balik jumpa family ...

    Penat, ya sememangnya aku dah penat sekarang ... dengan study, semuanya ... tak sabar rasanya nak menghabiskan semua ini .. tak sabar rasanya aku nak punya duit sendiri .. di saat aku tak perlu lagi mengharapkan duit ibu bapa ... saat aku mampu berdiri dengan sendrinya... belanja berdasarkan kemampuan ku sendiri .. I know that time will come soon ... 

Futsal

It is such a beautiful Sunday .. hhehehe since that I have such a good news to share with .. k just now our batch actually held on one tournament which is futsal game .. and most of the player are among us .. and thank to God at least and finally my major won the tournament .. hehehehe .. so damn happy.. yala , last sem our class only get runner up for this game .. at least we do got some kind of improvement la .. yala kan ..since it is the last game that gonna happen .. cuz some of them thought that maybe next semester will not organize this event anymore cuz yala ..we are so busy preparing for our fyp kan .. but .. so kay la .. at least we win for the last game .. such a great momento i guess.. hahahaha .... walaupun at first i really dont wanna go for this second game since that i was terribly injured last semester.. hehehe if not im might be not share this beautiful momento with my fren .. hahahahahha well so proud to say.. we at last win this last game .. and wanna thanx all of my buddies who are really striving to give us goal.. yala .. me not so helpful i think .. im just the goal keeper .. hehehehehe nice one ..!!!!!!! so full of happy moment ...

Silence is the word

Life is sometimes that we can predict so damn easily .. maybe it is already written that there is no chemistry .. it is a illness or something else ..i dunno .. its not that im hating that person , but dunno why is it always end this way ..

Difference

There is a quote actually that i like so much ...its say 'you dont get harmony when everybody sing the same note' - doug floyd ... 

hahaha funny thing dont you think .. for all this whole life , exactly .. i never have a plan for my life , most of the time i really love to copy others.. what are they doing , there thoughts , there principal.. and lots so lots of thing .. its not that i really paste all of their attitude in my mind .. but some of them i do keep for good .. no matter what ..neither it is bad or wrong .. haha crazy dont you think .. until this quote comes to my mind and some of my great friend advisor do give me such a wisdom advice ... she said that .. people are die alone .. why should we afraid of the upcoming thing then... well its so much 100 percent true ... a lot of us afraid of death... dont try to be such a hypocrite ...we do.. i do ... though im afraid mostly to GOD.. but i knew he is a good man and always be there for us no matter what .. 

sometimes .. i mostly get used that .. i have to depend on others in doing lots of thing ... i always keep this stupid faith in mind that .. if i stick to great people or knowledgeable people .. i will able to succeed together with them .. winning is so not my thing .. it just that failure is a big no-no for me ... medium, standard , ok  then it is great .. it is enough already .. hahahaa .. but then .. when it come to reality , the impact is actually more than medium .. its more than ok .. it wants all the very best that we could gain .. no matter you are ready or not .. the world is quite cruel rite now .... it dont want to hear any of our whining .. crying is acceptable .. it just that .. dont too much ... 

and so .. the decision is in my hand now ... i have to do something different now .. not the way i am before .. i have to be independent ... if i really wanna be someone in the real life ...the time will keep passing by .. it will never wait for us to getting more mature .. 

Cermin diri!

 Semakin hari semakin menyampah pula aku melihat certain people tu yang hanya pandai nak mengajar orang tentang itu ini .. tapi tak sedar diri sendiri itu actually commit the worst sin ever ... okay .. i noe that we live in this kind of country.. yang berbilang kaum and agama .. and sometimes sensitiviti bangsa yang minor ni kurang diambil perhatian .. btw siapa anda yang sibuk2 sangat nak pandai2 bagi ceramah kat orang ... before you doing that thing .. better la cermin diri tu sendiri .. okay .. wah bukan main pandai nak mengajar orang itu ini ..sedangkan pada masa yang sama niat hati awak tu nak sangat menyindir orang kan .. oh please la .. dia tu tak sedar diri kalau dgn gf .. bukan main lagi berpegang sakan ... konon nya ... cess .. actually ..you are the one yang should change before told other people k 

Just a Stupid Thought

 Well .. it is 4.30 pm in the evening and im damn bored .. no friends to talk and most of the novel that i borrow n bought .. i already read all of them .. which show how bored i am .. am i ..

 Okey .. in this entry i would to share something different you see.. since that most of the time i always wrote bout nonsense especially everything that around me ... hehehee

 Let me tell you a secret thought it is not so secret anymore .. hahahhaa .. im 23 this years and im getting old year by year .. and then i always have this stupid thought in my mind .. hahaha ... You know .. im one of the person who really love to travel and find and met new people ... to tell the truth .. there's always a thought in my mind that I wanna go seriously far away from the place that im standing right now ... you know why .. cuz im sick bout this place .. and keep waiting for the future that me myself dunno what exactly it gonna be later ... the truth is i never know how am i gonna be in the future and i never like to follow the flow that im choose ... it just that right now i wanna get out from this place so very soon .. it is so damn hard for me to survive with this kind of situation .. since that you have to endure everything that you never like .. Yes.. i  never like this place .. i hate it ... 

 Dont you think that it will be great that I can be a rebel for one time .. you know .. whereby I can say that .. i DONT  want to .. please stop forcing me to do the think that i never one .. Oh .. im i can say those word .. would it be nice .. and may be .. im not the me that i know then ... well just a stupid thought 

My lecturer

 Well today is the second day of my schooling days for this semester.. everything is flow quite well and i do attend all of the classes for this day perfectly .. hmmm .. love this day .. seems that the lecturer that gonna teach our class for this semester quite ok so far .. well we still dunno what actually happen in the future.. just keep praying for the best then . kan ... do keep thinking positive .. 

 As me myself and i noe .. i would not opening this piece if im not have sumthing to say kan .. hahah ... well my first class for today is quite fun since the lecturer is quite energetic to teach us.. beside i do already noe her existence before ..hahahah .... the second class is quite fun .. since the lecturer is quite a solemn guy .. heheheheheh love to tease himmm... well the last class is quite bore ... its all about to outcomes that we gonna get at the end of the lesson ...bored la .. beside that class was quite big .. we have to share with other classes ... huhuhuhu ... dun understand at all what is actually she's trying to say .. hihuhuh.. k la thats all for today ... 

P/s .... i do rebond my hair today .

Hope

 Today is Monday..and those people out there i believe hates monday ..kan hhaahahha.. since it is the leader of the week ..but quite different when it comes to my situation since i really waiting for this day to come .. oh first of all well hallo again new semester .. noting different and everything keep the same .. it just that the feeling of mine heart keep adding the chili sauce of this life .. i never like this place and this surrounding and i hope that im not gonna working here later after my graduation .. wahahahaa....

 Okay .. now im gonna tell Mrs.. Della the older .. hope you will be succesfull lil fella from 5 years ahead .. okya and when you read this piece .. hope that you will keep smiling hehehehehe ... well today is exactly my first day of semester 6 .. huhuh . if those people are actually prepare to go to the class .. i am the one who busying hunting   for hostel ..such a tremendous experience ... waking up as early as six so that im gonna be the first one lining up at the ukk's office .. but when im there the opposite situation plak happen .. well me n my friend were trying to negos wif those PEGAWAI la ... we try la to buy those stone heart humane by saying to say that we are from sarawak n sabahan ... and it is so damn hard for us to stay outside since that we are not for the golden ring family background kan .. but they still dont wanna try to understand our condition .... and one of my roomate lagila sandik .. she has to stay at surau near the kolej for almost 2 days ... kesian bah.. in my opinian la kan ... those kind of thing actually can take into consideration bah .,.. well since there is still lot of empty room in the hostel .. why dont you give them to stay kan ... give priority for those who really want it rite .. its not that we are not going to pay for those fee ... we do.. aduh susah la ... 

 Memang la .. staying in this uni is so damn terrible... though the fee is do cheaper than other uni .. but if you wanna know ... the cost living in this place is actually double or it is quite too much if i say it triple .... so it is nothing different than other uni ... konon nya nak menolong bumis ... but actually xde nyer .

 MMMMM.. if i do wanna story mory this story ...mmg x habis satu novel.. hahaha ....k la stop here la bout kolej.. after all i actually at last dapat jg hostel .. thanx Lord... huhuhuh 

 Well it is the beginning  of the new semester .. hope everything gonna be fine la this semester ... beside im having my industrial training too this semester ... actually everything is still blur .. and i still not deciding which company i will do my training.. but i hope everything will be ok la .. well gotta stop here .. i have another class this afternoon .. becide i should start packing now ... at last im no more REFUGEE... yihooooo  ... 

Sleepy nite

5 more days left for me to study this paper and I dont even finish any single past semester paper .. huhuhuh .. pening la .. This is totally not may fav paper .. later jadi paper Ecs .. huhuh kecundang di tengah jalan .. gosh i really wasting my time doing the 1st question ... and i have to left one question .. so moral of the story .. if  you can answer the question straight away .. just left it behind and continue doing the other question kan ... apala i should think wisely la when answering those question.. huhuhu .. ok la .. just forget bout those terrible memory which i really dont wanna remember at all.. hahhaa .. k freshing up my mine .,..  i have another 2 more paper left .. 

Crossing both finger

Yesterday is my first test paper.. ecs 478 (design paper :p/s - in case i forgot when i got a lil old) seriously, i dunno what to say or even comment bout it.. terrificly so damn SUSAH .. well just forgot bout it... hope i can pass that paper since that i heard one of my friend say that lots of people failed it last semester .. huhuhuhuhuh 

Its is HOT

Shah Alam recently so damn hot which cause me unable to breathe comfortly .. fuhhhh....damn gosh... can you even given us a slightest cool some air here ... i always hope that it gonna rain in the nite time but still it keep the warm temperature i think almost reach 100 degree.. just kidding .. huuhuuuh... but why its so damn hot diz day ..

Tension is on the rock

It is 2012.. and it is the first entry that i write this year...  been so damn good so far .. i hope all the stuff that gonna happen in this year will be much better than 2011...lots of lots of bad memory.. dont wanna remember it at all...mmm its 2012, in i am 23 years old .. hahahaha... cant believe it at oll.. well, there's nothing much different happening in me actually nowadays.. olwez be the same boring people.. wif bore daily routine and still single (psst.. hahahha) Oh my gosh.. when la i should open my heart... hehehe , some of my classmate are get married olready and have a baby.. can you believe that.. am i gonna die lonely .. hehehehe ... cessss.. bad timing ... it is something unpredictable then .. kan.. oh boy, what happen to me .. talking bout this nonsense .. my test is around the corner.. and as the nerdy to be come .. well trying my very best in studying and all this stuff.. hope that i can score good result for this semester since the previous really tainted my CGPA.... huhuh ..well you know , im not a scorer in class but i just wanna graduate wif 3 sumthing u know.. Life quite hard nowadays.. people dont look at your result first than your ability .. its 43 minutes past 3 o'clock in the morning .. I love this time you see.. when only me and just me mumbling around , talking nonsense and listening to the radio.. btw .. i just finish reading a book yesterday but i keep repeating reading it though i already know what is happening ..did i need to summarize it ? .. well no need la ... im not a good speaker ... MMMMMMMMMMM... okla just wanna share bout my bored new year celebration .. nothing great, im celebrating wif me sedap and burger (my roomate share it wif me.. well TQ then Qis) and tea i think .. not quite remember it though it just two day ago .. hahaha.. sadly huh...it is the 2nd time that im not celebrating it wif my dear family.. fyi, actually im not that quite thrill wif this kind of celebration.. seriously, i think all of it is the same for me..haha.. i think for those people who gonna read my blog will immediately turn of their screen .. hehe .. PEOPLE, dont read my blog k.. it is so damn boring ... hehehe .. well thats all for today ... just wanna get a sleep .. A new year is begin.. i should start a good life then ...ta daaaaa