Touche'

There's a saying ' Hidup ini ibarat stage kitalah pelakonnya', di mana setiap kita menjadi watak utama untuk pentas itu dan org2 di sekeliling kita adalah the 'supporting role' dlm kehidupan kita. Is it true? Actually I dont give a damn on such saying, kenapa harus samakan kehidupan dengan pentas lakonan. Di pentas segala-galanya boleh diulang to be perfect and yet cant be apply to our daily life.

Even if life can be rewind back and forth again, rasanya dah tak sanggup untuk hadap semua benda yang sama. Just that, I'm missing my old best buddies. Once you met new people, things never be the same again. You have to act what you dont want to be, like what you never want in life and adapt to what you really hate.

Now I'm an adult and I really hate about it. Life is full with "kayu pengukur' mostly material. We do concern more on material thing i.e, MOney, Shoes, Bag and even food . I live so that I can earn more and spend more. Life never  cherish with new experience, why is that? 

I got study loan to pay, rental that I have to meet up every end of the month, transportation cost , etc ..

WHY can't I just do all I want. This life ain't for this kind of stuff. I might end up crazy if I dont get out from this imaginary world. 

Laughing for the stupid reality show, release tension konon,, which actually show how lonely I am. Sometimes feeling angry at people around me just because they laugh hysterically for stupid movie and burp .. Gosh I really  hate that sound, even think of the smell . Why cant you cover up . So nasty ..ewwwww.. Is it wrong for me to say that thing .. 

My Life as An Engineer

Live a life and dream a life is 2 different path. Graduated as an engineering student and doing career as an engineer for almost 2 years make me come up to a conclusion; not all geek can be an engineer or may be geek not suitable to be a practical engineer. If you involve with design 24/7 yes geek it is but with the construction life not so much . 

One thing i realize in our education system, we don't teach the student the real value of the engineer itself . What guts you should have to be an engineer. For soft stift lady and gentleman out there,  think twice before enroll yourself in this career. It's not cool and great as it sound. As an engineer it is known that we can work in many work scope: a) a design engineer ; where geek landed b) a construction engineer or site engineer; the rough and  'sado' guys c)in developer; the bos engineer.

Actually there are more work scope an engineer can involve instead the mentioned scope i.e sales engineer, work in manufacturing and etc., Those 3 up there are the most famous graduate will choose comparing to others.

Out of those 3; no 2 or b is the top payee, since you have to deal  with those heat and sacrifice most of your weekend for awful security watching job. Totally not my style as me and sun are 2 great nemesis. You dont deal  too much with the brain of designing, but you have to deal with great pressure to meet the deadline. In construction field, gaining respect from your sub unit ie contractor and cow is the most important thing. You not gaining their respect, you will face a total disruption of your work process and for sure komfem kene bambu at meeting room due to LAD and EOT etc.

Design engineer, your salary might be the lowest if you work with not a renown company. Small design company- learn new thing from admin to junior engineer as you are the one who have to handle those thing. Working overtime is normal.  Have to complete the report before the dateline, checking the drawing. Most importantly, know the software. You have to master those software and codes2 which you need to design. Being a design engineer quite interesting if you love to deal with computer as for my theory ; hackers makes a good design engineer. Being smart isn't  enough, you must knows fews trick behind your sleeve when dealing with difficult bos and client.

Working with developer or client, makes you the bos to consultant and contractor. You get the opportunity to give order to anyone. The most annoying part working with developer is dealing with the authority and meeting with the higher management. FYI, most project always behind schedule, this where the paperwork comes in, tedious and enormously tiring, Work with the developer makes you to be good in writing and speaking in english as it is a must. 

Which part am I? I used to work with client for a while, not a great experience I guess since I only got chances to see the end result of my project as I join quite late. Forgot one thing, be good to the Architect. You gonna need their help too. Good architect makes thing easier and faster.

And know, working as a design engineer in a steel tower specialist. Lot thing to learn and still learning, :) 

I know who I am

  Selepas zaman remaja berlalu, kini aku start melalui fasa awal dewasa ..dan kini hampir menjadi seorang yang matang . Kalau dulu, segalanya sentiasa pasti bagi aku. Kehidupan sebagai seorang remaja yang sentiasa terkapai-kapai mahukan sesuatu yang extraordinary. Kehidupan remaja ku mungkin boleh dikatakan budak baik la . Tak pernah ponteng sekolah, kalau ada pun sekali atau dua kali . Homework kalau tak siap pun, konfem esok pagi datang awal ke sekolah semata-mata nak tiru member. Kalau Add math .. memang willy la jawabnya .. HAhaha .. Zaman sekolah menengah, duit itu bukan la sesuatu masalah bagi aku, ayah sentiasa ada untuk bagi duit .. dan kadangkala lebih dari yang aku dapat sebulan sebagai pelajar universiti .. Study pun bukan keutamaan sangat .. Result bagus pun mungkin sebab nasib je kot . Im not the Genius student back in the school .. Tp i do admit it certain subject that I really interested in it .. i do score a good result .. Im just OK may be .. nak kata regret bout what happening back then.. Tak juga.. i seriously enjoy my life back then . Friends and family .. Hmmm .. Masih teringat lagi zaman tingkatan 5 .. konon nak tunjuk hero, i make a stupid promise to myself that i wanna have some tattoo .. haha thanx God la x buat .. nak pierce kat mana2 yang patut la .. well money do make a good reason back then .. in school .. when things was more than RM 20 .. i dun dare to spend my pocket money on it .. so damn wasteful ... apa lagi tattoo yang almost beratus harganya . 

   And then .. time sekolah menengah la banyak orang cuba buat benda yang you know , something that you eager to do .. Kissing , coupling., smoking and so lots of thing ..There are one of my close friend tell me .. kissing is the most greatest thing to do when you are in love with somebody .. And a kiss is a must on every relationship .. some of them already lost it back on secondary school though .. Im not that really dare to do her challenged .. hahah ..just wait im ready for it then .. but not for some random guy that i met .. Couple .. hmm everyone are goes for that stuff.. courting and everything .. and mungkin kot sebab me , i raise in kind of strict family.. my father never ever allow me to have a bf .. it is kind of forbidden while im back in school .. Hahaha pity me back then ..so till now .. everything still the way it was .. no lover, not a lil smooch ...hmmm ..

   And then back to the uni .. it its the world of courting .. and actually i never have time for it here .. with the study .. different religion and races .. so i just make a conclusion .. let it wait till i have a proper job then .. beside, dating in the university is not a good investment either .. you have to spend lots money on texting , dating .. which for me .. I hate to do something which do not have any perfect reason to do .. maybe ada certain orang kata .. you know your preparation untuk calon suami nanti ... Naahh. .. how do you know then that he the one .. Besides , he is also loaning ptptn as well as you do .. hmm or maybe i just settle everything that i have to do now .. then it will be the perfect time for me to find one. I believe when you getting older and more matured .. you will able to choose a better person .. i just dun wanna gamble my life right now cuz takut stock laki hampir habis .. let it be then .. hahahaha ... younger partner will always be available .. heheheh ...

GRAPH

  I got another 3 more days left before my 1st paper.. and yet im just start studying the subject NOW .. HAhaha .. take a few minutes break and and just wanna write something in this entry . This is my 2nd last semester and I hope everything will end soon .. of course then I will miss my colleague and dudas behind but every beginning do have an end right !! And here I can conclude that.. my period of time as a student almost done ..Well I might further my study later in the future might be if I have the guts to do so .. Studying is quite hard sometimes .. It is not that i hate to study .. If the subject quite interesting to me , of course then I do love it .. But mostly I have to learn all of that stuff because I have to pass the exam .. Nothing more and nothing less .. So .. the benefit that I gain from it is lesser or non I guess  compare to the DEAN star award .. who do treasure the study a hell lot .. 

   But for me .. every people in this world .. no matter you are the DEANy or you just a PASSER by .. it doesnt mean that dude with perfect 3.5 point n above can get a better job then you .. It is just a matter of luck and you exactly use every opportunity which come to you wisely .. WEll some people do good in study but when comes to work place .. it is totally different .. It is more life it a new lesson in life that we have to study ..another chapter so caller LIFE 101.. HMMM .. we just have to wait and see then .. 

   I am 23 years old rite now buddy and if I hope i can maintain writing for this entry .. though there were stops and nothing to write well may be I so damn busy doing other things .. I try to keep this blog till i can keep it ..

 

 

I am not a good lover

   2 days left and I will be 24 years .. and yet I am still proudly holding the title bachelor for life . Its not that I am not trying to find someone but I always wanna wait till the right time. I am not a sweet talker like other girls and for sure I am not that cute to grab any guys attention at the very first place .. Dun worry, whether I am on or off my specs ... there will be no fairy angels coming or any sparkles appear .. HAHHA .. I am not that obvious and for sure  I try to live in this world safely ... thank god my mama and dad  told me well .. Never go to club or flirting with any randoms guy .. Im totally not good at that .. and I am totally a self independent gurl and about to be a woman .. HAhAH ..I am different for other species i guesss. Well thats why we are born to this world right .. to be different from others .. Hmmmm..
   I always love my life .. and I dont wand any difficulty that I hold in my back become a shadow that people would notice . Well people do have secret right .. Some of them we can share with our close friend and some of them we must keep it to our grave.. Hmmm ok back to the topic
   NOT A GOOD LOVER ?  Y did I say so ..I love to watch romance film .. who dont .. I am a girl for God sake .. Romance Novel .. i dying for it .. everything ... But when it back to reality ...and looking at other couple act romancessly in front of me .. It is quite an awkward for me seriously .. and it  almost make me wanna vomit ... For me romance is something that you should keep it to yourself without telling anybody of show it off to everybody ... post it in the facebook or twitter for example .. gosh i really hate to read those junk .. 'I miss my handsome boy . Every second ticking make me think of you ' and below it at the comment ... whether the girl of boy itself will like the comment .. If you desperately love each over , y dont you 2 lovey dovey doves .. just texting via inbox .. dont you know that by putting that stuff in your own wall actually make people feelll ewww .. if you get what am i saying . Well thats me .. I am not good in expressing my feeling to someone .. Hmmmm so conservative lil fell...

Addiction

   There was a quote that I really love by George R.R. Martin, (A Dance With Dragons) which was
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.” In a simple word .. I mean in my own word i can describe that, once you read new book .. its mean that you are reincarnate back to the world . Do you wanna know Y ?  Well in my thought, you can experience a whole lot new thing even though  it from other people perspective .. At least then, you can be the new hotshot chick on the town, or miraculously a  great mom to a decent husband and lots of lots of that . Recently, I just read a few books .. 4 exactly .. though it quite not that so called awesome or decent book as well, I do agree what Sir George R.R Martin did say .. When I read those book .. I completely lives in some other kind of dimension and the good  thing about that stuff actually I could feel the scenario itself .. well i dun wanna call myself as a nerd ..but thats the way i could describe myself .. 

   And besides, there another good thing about this reading hobby too .. you get to improve you language and broaden you thought about something  . By what Im saying ... I actually learn a few new words which I never heard before .. or may be I do heard it and dont understand it at all .. but when the word keep cliche' in your mind .. finally you will catch the meaning ..HMMM ...

 Well then ..in the future I should try to read John Grisham book since that Im not quite good in Law .. There were some kind of thing that I dont understand people do or those people who are creating the law for example the Constitution or anything related to Law .. why those people dont try to use the word that people could understand .. and  why are those people are exactly try to messing out the meaning of the clause try to address . ..and it is do hard  to understand sometime ..

  

Killing me softly !!

I am not a perfect person . Well all people do .. Don't we? . There is a time I have to force myself on doing something since I want everything to look perfect for the sake of my eye.  People secretly says that I am to hard to resist. Then, I try to loose the 'strict line' in the works that I do especially when it involves group work. Well then, they quite OK with it .There's a new lesson that I learn from that, I have to believe that others can do their job well too. Indeed, it is lot easier now and I don't have to bother myself all the time to check and auditing for them. Grade never be the focus point of everything in our life.. it is the way we communicate with people.. day by day since you have to live with this people. The best thing in life is that you know more people and get to know whats within their heart . I  do regret sometimes.. in the way Im treating people before. I can be quite as asshole sometimes especially when dealing with assignment and laboratory work or anything .. It is time for me to change ... I have to criticize less since people hate to hear other talk bad about what they do  .. 

    And till this day come by .. as usual when it comes to lab job .. we have to do the job as it was assigned .. As usually, I am the one who assigned for it  ( minus 1, again the Queen B). Well dont misunderstood bout that... Usually I will assigned the job fairly .. all of us must do the job from scale 1- 10 .. so nobody will get the easiest task every week . Sometimes, they will send their job back to me after have completed it so  that I could check ( minus 1, again the Queen B + autocracy). I do check and sometimes have to demolish their job so that it would be perfect according to my standard . (minus 1, again the Queen B).. there is a time back then .. I have to change all their word almost like 80%... (pheeewww.... -1). 

    Till one day someone that I know spoke out, and said .. ' i give a lot if burden to Him/Her ' . I never got that electric shock statement before.. The BADASS me will say , 'Hello.. I am  the one who helping you to do with that stuff, and how on earth could you say that to me .. Just because I ask you to correct a few term'  . But then .. thanx God at least I can control it this time .. and said... ' Then next time dont send it  to me  .. just do it by your own ..' But since he kept saying that I did give a lot of burden to him.. I try to play it cool here .. then I check it again .. well the fault is mine .. actually he/she  did copy the previous job that I corrected .. yeah .. it is my fault then for not checking it earlier ... It is a normal thing that  you do forget about something  but when it in my case ... it can never be forgiven .. May be I was to harsh sometimes .. and do hurt people most of the time , so when they cant take it ,finally it is speak out in a indirect way .. Like Today !!!

   So.. for my groupmate .. sometimes I never realize how bad I am treating you .. I am sorry then .. I hope it will never be happen again in the future time. The clock is keep ticking and we never knew when we are going to meet again after graduation.